In my first entry - I mentioned that I've been carrying around some extra weight. My goal is of course to take off the weight. I'm going to dig down deep and share with you numbers that I'd rather not.
I'm 5'1. I am teeny, well, I should be teeny. According to the BMI - I should weigh about 110 lbs. When I moved to Florida, I weighed about 135. I don't know if I will ever weight 100 lbs - and feel good about it. Let's face it, I like cheeseburgers and fries. But, I know that I LOVED myself at 135. I was a size 8/10 and I wore a bikini (even if I didn't look perfect) and I fit in clothing and I just felt good. I want to feel good again.
I started out my pregnancy at 160 lbs (still way too big - already behind the 8 ball).
I only gained 4 lbs in my first trimester. Then I just got big.
I went into give birth at 202 lbs. U-G-H
I left at about 190 lbs.
I was 188 two weeks postpartum.
I was 183 15 weeks postpartum (it took me forever to get off 5 lbs)
I am currently at 183 lbs
Measurements (as of 12/6)
Dominant Arm: 12 1/4
Chest: 44 1/2
Wasit: 37
1 inch below belly button: 44
Hips: 48
Dominant Leg: 25.5
Dominant Calf: 15
Weight: 183
The past five months have been an emotional journey. Aside from most things baby that have made it emotional - my weight has certainly played a big part. I can honestly say that I have cried almost every day about my weight. I feel horrible, rotten about myself. I cringe when my husband looks at me too long, let alone touches me. I want to hide under a moo-moo dress. I have about 5 shirts and 4 pairs of pants/shorts that fit. Most of which are maternity. My boobs take up my entire body, and I can't find a supportive bra that lifts my bra up so that you can see my waist line. I am not that woman that drops weight breastfeeding. I feel frumpy and it makes me grumpy.
A week or so ago, I was standing in the mirror in the bathroom, scolding my body in my mind. Scolding myself for letting my body get so sloppy. Then I saw it. The back fat. Where the fuck did that come from? Seriously? Can I get a break here?
It hit me then...I sure can get a break...as soon as I get off my ass and get serious again. Again. An interesting word. It's interesting because it reminds me that I have done this before. So, I should be able to do it now, with no problem.
I have a lot more going on in my life than I did last time that I got serious about taking the weight off me. I am a wife, a mother, an employee, a friend... I have more balls in the air. I must remind myself that is all the more reason why I need to this. Again. A lot of people depend on me. I need to be the most healthy and fit person that I can be. Most physically and mentally. Again. It's now or never.
I found a program online, called Lindsay Brin's Post Natal workout plan. She is a mom of 3, 32 years old and has 3 c-sections. I found her on youtube and found her site and loved it immediately. I ordered her videos and started them yesterday. A 60 day plan, that I will be documenting. (http://www.lindsaybrin.com/)
I did day 1 of the videos yesterday. It consisted of a warm-up, a kick-boxing interval, a resistance interval, a cool-down and some abs. It was a short video - about 28 minutes, but it kicked my ass. I was having flashbacks of Shawn T. from insanity. It was hard. I'm not used to pushing myself anymore. But, while I was doing it, I had a thought that I want to get back to shape, so I can do the full 90 of insanity, so, I guess that drive is still inside me...somewhere, piled under lots of extra lbs. I can get it back!! I feel it today, ever so slightly in my damn abs. I feel the burn...AGAIN.
My goal is to stick around 1500 calories daily. This is all work in progress - and I need to make sure I am eating the right amount of servings from each food group.
Today this is what I ate:
Breakfast: 1/2 an english muffin with a slice of cheese, side of blueberries
Snack: Apple, some popcorn (about 2 cups)
Lunch: Panera - pick two - chicken casear salad, french onion soup, baguette ( I did not finish the salad or the soup)
Snack: apple
Dinner: shrimp stirfry: yellow and red peppers, red onions, water chestnuts, babycorn, broccoli. I made a peanutbutter sauce with rice vinegar and sirachi hot sauce.
I have a bad habit of eating fruit before bed. I got into this habit during pregnancy. now, I sit at night with about a cup of frozen grapes and blueberries and munch while I drink a lot of cold water. I'll probably do that tonight, too.
Ok,so tomorrow I have 3 intervals to do!! I better go get some rest! :)
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